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I could start this article extolling the importance of listening in our detriot tigers #28 white home jersey everyday lives, in our ability to lead others, in our ability to improve relationships and communications in general. I could lament that while throughout our school experiences we were taught the communication skills of writing and speaking, but seldom was any time spent learning the skills of listening.


I could do those things, but I won't.

You've heard and said all of those things before. There is no value in me going over that litany again. Besides, if we had all bought into those arguments, we'd be walking around as better listeners. Sadly, for most of us, most of the time, this isn't true.

That chorus of comments assumes or implies that the heart of great listening is skills.

I don't agree.

Don't get me wrong, I believe the skills of great listening are important, I just don't think that is our problem. We know how to listen; we've exhibited the skills at some points I our lives. We just don't do it nearly often enough.

So, if it isn't skill that keeps us from consistent great listening, what is it? I believe there are three factors: Intention, Attention, and Effort. Let me explain.

Intention

When you begin communicating with someone your intention, conscious or subconscious, will directly impact how you listen. Consider this short list of possible intentions:

- You want detriot tigers #28 white home jersey to persuade the other person.
- You want your point of view heard.
- You want to get through this conversation as quickly as possible.
- You want to build the relationship.
- You want the person to like you (more).
- You want to "set them straight".
- detriot tigers #28 white home jersey You want to give them some feedback or coaching.

I could expand this list, but this is enough to make my point. Your intention at the beginning of the conversation will have an impact on how completely and carefully you listen during the conversation.

Want to be a better listener instantly? Set your intention on the other person instead of yourself. Intend to understand their message. Or, to be more blunt:

Stop being so selfish.

Great listening is an act of caring, of service and, yes, of love.

Make the conversation about the other person; desire to understand their perspective, ideas and thoughts. With this intention your mental mandate is no longer muddy and you will listen more effectively.